I found this on the Metal-Archives page for black metal band Night Conquers Day and it’s somehow funnier than anything that’s been posted here (not difficult you may say). Presumably it’s from some interview or other with mainman Mikael Bayusik, though I can find no confirmation.

“Raistlyn did some session keyboards on “The First Snowfall” album, most notably was the great Intro that he recorded for that debut CD. He mysteriously disappeared during our debut CD recording sessions and has not been seen since. Once in a great while he will call (randomly) and play some amazing keyboard piece over the phone for me, but never say who it is. He then just hangs up. “

*ring ring*

“Hello, Night Conquers Day residence.”

*tap tap, click*

“Uh, hello?”

*Doo. Da dum. Dala la da da*

“Raistlyn for fuck’s sake it’s Sunday morning, I’ve gotta take the kids to football practice.”

*Da la dum dum DUM dum di dum*

“Look, that sounds great but…”

*Do li tum ti tum la la la fa li dah*

“Can we please just talk about this? Maybe you can come play on the next Tearstained album?”

*Do dah dah dah prom pom pom di doo*

“At least let me know why you…”

*click*

“Goddamn it”