Yes, it’s back and worse than ever before… it’s the return of the retarded search terms!

Since the last post on this fascinating insight into the minds of the multitudinous web-peasants who stumble across the noble e-moat of Antihumanism.com, we’ve collected dozens more classic gems of genuine retardation for your enjoyment pleasure. As tempting as it may be for us to make a few up, there’s really no need when you read through some of these!

So without further ado, here’s a little selection of the “best” we received recently:

Fenriz girlfriend (yes, teenage girls and boys are still obsessed with knowing if their fave black metal superstar is taken, or like, totally available!)

Mortuus girlfriend (just give it up already, he’s just so out of your league! If the music of Fragrant Mist is anything to go by, he’ll bore you to death anyway, trying to be “crazy” and random)

Darkness is my only friend black metal (the emos have arrived! Or possibly the goths. Exterminate them all)

Can I delete facebook (what, the whole site? You have to admire this guy’s ambition)

Mayhem dead cake (who wouldn’t want a birthday cake with Dead’s brains painted on it in red food dye?)

Euronymous mayhem cake (somewhere, there’s a kid jumping up and down with excitement at mommy’s food dye rendition of Euronymous’ corpsepainted face on icing)

Black metal with mosh breakdowns (sigh…)

Satyricon hermaphrodite (kind of an obvious and unsurprising one, but still amusing)

Vagina being fisted pictures (how would this lead them to Antihumanism.com, I wonder? I’m sure one of our many admirers will chime in to let us know)

What the fuck is humanism? (Can you actually imagine the type of person who would be so frustrated by their inability to understand the concept of something that they actually type “what the fuck is humanism?” into a search engine as if angrily shouting at God after a bad day at the extermination camp administration offices?)

That’s it for now, I’m sure there’ll be more soon. TREMBLE IN TREPIDATION FOR OUR WRATH SHALL BE TERRIBLE AND UNPLEASANT.

Controversy has struck Facebook again as thousands of users have voiced their fury with the latest changes to hit their favourite social networking site.

Facebook users have for some time been campaigning and petitioning the site’s administration for a “dislike” option, so they could indicate their distaste for a linked article, update or photo upload. Previously, users were only able to indicate that they “like” something. Caving in to popular demand, Facebook finally added the option last week, but did not stop there. Andy Cocke, a senior technician who worked on the latest update told us:

“We decided that the next probable cause of complaint among our moronic users was the desire to express a dislike or like for other people’s dislikes and likes. So we pre-empted this by adding that feature straight away.”

Those signed up to Facebook are now able to like or dislike another user’s like or dislike, and can even go as far as to like or dislike the fact that someone liked or disliked someone else liking a dislike of someone’s like for a dislike. 

But now users complain that their update pages are filled up with endless lines of likes and dislikes. Mr Cocke admits that this is a serious flaw.

“As impossible as it may seem, we hadn’t foreseen the sheer anal stupidity of many Facebook users. In theory it’s possible to go on liking and disliking indefinitely, which causes problems for people who just want to read what John Smith’s been doing, and not whether John Smith is liking a dislike of a like of a dislike of a dislike of a like.”

One regular user of the site said: “I’ve lost friendships over this new feature. I got real angry at a guy I’d known since High School and disliked their dislike after they disliked the fact that I disliked someone disliking a favourable article link about President Obama that I liked. They said they’d gotten confused and had meant to like my dislike, but the damage had been done. We haven’t spoken on the internet since.” 

Plans to enable users to become fans of themselves and others becoming fans of something have now been shelved after a test run crashed the entire World Wide Web. In under quarter of an hour, six million people became fans of each other becoming fans of becoming fans of a user from New Zealand becoming a fan of quilted toilet paper.