Black metal + grunge = fail
If, like me, you consider that the genres of black metal and grunge have little in common besides key figures in both having blown their heads off with shotguns, you may be surprised to learn that a project exists claiming to mix those disparate music forms together.
Or probably, you wont be surprised in the least, if considering the fact that almost every single other music genre has by now been incorporated into a bastardised gimmick-laden form of black metal disguised as unique originality by some clueless hivemind drone peons hoping to gain their 15 minutes of fame.
Well without further ado, here’s what I’ve been building up to, it’s my fail of the week: Ea, Lord of the Tapes (that’s the cutest, most self-referential, ironic and hipsterish label name I’ve heard in a while) release #1: HØST (on kvltsette of corpse!).
Here’s the record label (I don’t know why I call it a record label, it’s just some bored dude with a tape deck who wants to be part of something, anything, to stave off existential fears of the futility of existence) description:
By mixing the sounds of grunge and black metal together, they end up having a very unique and incredibly fresh sound. This 7 track, self titled album is full of RIFFS, catchy bass lines, rockin’ drums, and Burzum grunts. This is black-’n-roll at its finest.
If you like black metal but you want something entirely different, check out HØST.
Oh dear. Take a minute to fully digest this abominable description. Maybe do a few bench presses or go for a quick run to stave off those horrible homosexual vibes from ruining your morning.
If I liked black metal but wanted something entirely different, I guess I’d listen to music that still had the same spirit communicated through different means. I’d try Dead Can Dance or Tangerine Dream or a myriad of classical composers. Not Kurt Cobain with corpsepaint.
KILL ALL HIPSTERS.
Tags: black metal, burzum, corpsepaint, dead can dance, ea lord of the tapes, grunge, HØST, hipster, kurt cobain, nirvana, suicide, tangerine dream
October 9th, 2009 at 8:09 am
http://board.vivalavinyl.org/thread/view/94150/&p=34
October 9th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
actually this sounds pretty cool, ill probably order it.
October 10th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Is it sad that this is the best Minnesotans have to offer? I am from Minnesota and have never heard a quality black metal band from here…
October 11th, 2009 at 9:07 am
nothing in this review indicates in any way that you actually listened to this
October 12th, 2009 at 12:10 am
actually this looks pretty gay. i’d much rather sit on a jar
October 12th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Well “hip guy”, you’re right. I didn’t need to. The description says it all.
EXTERMINATE ALL THE HIPSTERS
October 12th, 2009 at 9:26 am
“good post”
October 13th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
You guys are way too closed minded, It’s as if you spend all your time looking for bands you don’t like on the internet and bashing them…it’s actually quite pathetic…
Why not try, I don’t know, not being a elitist prick and accept something different for once…I’d give it a shot if i were you…
October 14th, 2009 at 12:37 am
When everything’s externalized to form and appearance over content and substance, it doesn’t make sense to bother looking deeper into shallowness.
October 17th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Open minds are toilets with the lid left up. We’re equipped with the ability to judge for a reason.
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Open minds are only good to a point. After a while, you start closing your mind back up because it’s absorbing too much rubbish.
This looks like a complete abomination of a recording.
November 11th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Ive supported this band both times they’ve toured through this area. Ive always been impressed by their music, despite what idiot comments or claims their label or others have. I hate a lot of stupid shit for stupid reasons, but this is a good ‘book by its cover’ example.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:49 am
You think we judged a book by it’s cover? Yeah well, hipsters by definition are just covers with no actual book inside. Or a “crazy” cover hiding a tedious run-of-the-mill book. I could go on.
February 12th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
such a pointless fucking site. WAH WAH EXTERMINATE ALL HIPSTERS.
this is the biggest fag piece of shit i’ve read in a while.
i think it’s you who is flirting with a miserable and pointless existence.