Icons feed the fires
Typical brainless Michael Jackson fan’s twitter/blog etc comment: “may God bless you in Heaven! Michael Jackson, forever king of pop”.
Typical kvlt black metal kiddie’s twitter/blog etc comment: “may Satan’s blackwinged angels guide you to the infernal realm! Steingrim Torson, forever king of darkness”.
Since 1993, black metal has been full of laughable people wanting to be the next icons of the scene (that latter word pronounced with an effeminate lisp) as an ego boost and affirmation of importance and self-worth. Most try to impose this dubious honour on themselves by acting in a manner likely to be perceived as “kvlt” by the kidz and those of low intelligence. Still others face attempts to have it imposed on them by outside parties desperate to be part of something they believe to be cool.
One individual I recall being eager to be crowned “king of black metal” was Paul “Typhon” Thind of notorious alleged rip-off label Necropolis (or Negropolis as some later dubbed them). Probably most famous for releasing the Nordic Metal CD in tribute to Euronymous, Thind made much of his tenuous connections to the glamour of the Norwegian movement, mostly for various money making schemes and enticing bands to work with his “Norway-approved” label.
Claiming a close kinship with Oystein “Euronymous” Aarseth, he felt entitled to a special place in the growing (and soon to be quickly decreasing in quality) black metal scene. Of course, his “closeness” was nothing of the sort, Aarseth being eager to write to anyone who wrote to him especially if it meant possible new avenues of promotion and distribution for “his” bands.
The fact that the Nordic Metal CD was released on Thind’s young label was a matter of mere business expediency than anything else. A compilation CD had already been planned with most of the artists who eventually appeared on the tribute album. Thind couldn’t resist the opportunity of declaring in the Nordic Metal booklet that “Euronymous’s memory has spawned an entire series”, a thinly veiled proposed business plan attempting to cash in on the death of his “brother”. The series of compilation albums did not take off however, though the original tribute sold well and exposed many to the Scandinavian style of black metal.
Thind’s label lasted several more years until collapse, surrounded by rumours and tales of swindling, rip-offing, talking in a fake British accent (no one knows why Thind adopted this, possibly he was coming out of the closet) and declaring himself king of US black metal, to much amusement. His whereabouts are currently unknown, though it seems unlikely that he sits atop a throne of skulls being sucked off by satanic sluts wearing a crown made from the melted down mastertapes of “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” and “The Return”.
And then we have the unfortunates who find themselves being put forward as new icons of this once potent music. Of course, this is rarely out of any real adulation for the individual as such, but more as a vicarious means of being involved in something “significant”. Usually those responsible for this nonsense became involved with black metal well after the blood fire death of the early 1990s and as such feel they somehow missed out on the genre’s defining non-musical events. By “defining”, I mean in terms of the mainstream media perception, from which the majority of modern black metal listeners derive their flawed understanding of the genre in the first place.
One such potential icon is of course Jon Nodtveidt of Dissection, but another more recent example is Steingrim “Shotgun Gutsfuck” Torson of Celestial Bloodshed and numerous other 2nd rate new wave of vaguely-alright-I-suppose Norwegian black metal bands.
Even before his absurd accidental death at the hands of a friend, Torson’s bands and those of his close colleagues were hailed and hyped as the “next big thing” by scenester types, eager for Norway to produce something half-decent again so they can say in later years that they “were there” when it all went down. Or at least, that they were posting comments on blabbermouth when this massive non-event took place.
When news spread of Torson’s violent death, these desperate people clasped their hands together with joy as they hoped that finally the kvlt crowd-appeasing era of black metal had its very own Dead or Euronymous figure. This needy and pathetic desire for new icons to venerate quickly began to manifest itself in the actions of numberless aimless morons.
In various blogs, myspace profiles, facebook groups and forums, idiots are making cute little photoshopped In Memoriam (using Latin instead of the plainer “in memory” is more kvlt) pictures much like “bereaved” Michael Jackson fans are doing, because their lives are empty and need injecting with surrogate meaning. The crowd are always the same, no matter if they make their icon a not especially talented singer with a gruesome white face or a… well, you get the picture.
Footnote 28.07.2009 – Since this article was published several of you have written in ”to confirm” that Necropolis Records did indeed “rip you off” and that there’s nothing “alleged” about it.
Well, aside from the fact that it has little or nothing to do with the article, I’d like to state that I couldn’t care less about you losing $15 over 10 years ago, which probably helped to fund a few good albums anyway.
Though Thind was undoubtedly a somewhat absurd and ridiculous character (thus why I used him to illustrate a point), his label did at least release a handful of classic releases, which is more than can be said for most record labels nowadays, “rip off” or not.
Tags: black metal, celestial bloodshed, icons, michael jackson, necropolis records, paul thind, steingrim torson
July 15th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Your website is embarrassing. You are the CRADLE OF FILTH of the internet. Well done. Start a cult instead. More rewarding. Oh, but FAGGOTS POSERS don’t do anything other than sit around POSING and FUCKING MEN. In your spare time go kill yourself. Save your shitty writing for a journal or something, its beyond retardation. And its really Christian.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:51 am
I wondered how long it’d take for some whiny Celestial Bloodshed fanboy to turn up.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:44 am
Never heard of him or his band(s).
July 20th, 2009 at 12:30 am
The great thing about ANUS is that every point it makes is just a reflection of the obsessions and weaknesses of its authors – yet they never seem to see this, get it, or understand how hypocritical and weak they actually are. Overmen? You’re a bunch of wannabe lame pretenders hiding behind your computers. You know why you see all of this shit in the underground? You’re projecting it. Even if you weren’t – who the hell cares? You’ve been doing this for over a decade now, what the hell is wrong with you? Get a fucking life, you sadsacks. Oh great, you write utter bullshit and lies just in order to “troll” the underground and prove your totally worthless points, you get off endlessly on making people react emotionally to the idiotic manipulations you spew – how does this make you better than anyone? You’re not teaching anyone anything. All you are doing is saying, over and over, that you live a completely empty, meaningless life and the only value you’ve found in the internet is trying to make other people feel small so that you can feel bigger. Congratulations, Nietzsche would really be proud of you.
July 20th, 2009 at 3:33 am
Pffft… this article is right on the money. Black metal fags think there so better than pop music fans, there just the same underneath there gay makeup. We love you euronymous!!!!! pathetic!
July 24th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Man, fuck that Necropolis guy. It’s impossible to find Dawn’s Slaughtersun for less than $454442.67 nowadays.
July 26th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Admin-
I am going to wonder about how long will it take for someone to shoot you for this.MAN I WILL LAUGH MY ASS FOR WHEN IT HAPPENS HAHA
go shoot yourself.
July 26th, 2009 at 5:00 am
oh..and I would love to hear you make the music Steingrim did. I bet you cant even fart the right way.
July 26th, 2009 at 5:38 am
CB: The article mainly criticises the idiot prole obsession with creating “icons” to worship in lieu of doing anything themselves and to feel part of something, be it Britney, Jackson, Euronymous or whoever. Your amusing trailertrash-style comments seem to prove my point.
As should be obvious, I’ve nothing personal against Torson even though his music is/was bog-standard norsecore.
“Leave Steingwim aloooone!!” Better rub some ointment on that butthurt, fanboy.
July 26th, 2009 at 6:19 am
it is seriously retarded to even mention MJ and steingrim in same article.
if people worships them..let them do it. its their fuckin bussiness not yours. once they will grow up they will realize anyway that it is completely retarded. but noo..you just have to do even more bullshit.
websites like this makes me sick. you have no respect for anyone.
I truly hope to read your biography one day. bet it is full of bullshit as well.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:14 am
This article brought tears to my eyes…
tears of laughter
August 27th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Everyone has to have their worthless opinion, everyone has to try to be that elitist know-it-all piece of shit, and everyone here is going to Fucking DIE… hopefully others sooner than later. And when the writer of this blog dies, I hope others get the chance to find laughter in your suffering too and maybe even make a pitiful blog like this one about it, comparing Michael Jackson to black metal… seriously? Fuck you, fucking faggot.
August 28th, 2009 at 1:58 am
Oh great, another humanist black metal fan writes in, weighing in with his opinion which equates to: “boo hoo leave my idols and precious identity alone”.
I won’t care if people laugh about me when I’m dead, because I’ll be DEAD. They can sodomise the corpse as well, for all I care.
Correct. Modern black metal fans like you are no different from Michael Jackson fans. Yeah, seriously. Go light a candle for Euronymous.
August 29th, 2009 at 4:24 am
I wonder what they did with Euronymous’ corpse. Burying it would be an insult to the underground. Ha.
October 5th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Any chance you can contact me?
October 7th, 2009 at 4:54 am
Del, if you’re referring to me, you can get in touch at the contacts link…
November 1st, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Pretty much sums it up.
Thank you for this article and keep it up.
November 11th, 2009 at 1:15 am
Just another more ELITE THAN THOU faggot. This guy wouldnt even allow his own son to sport a Burzum shirt in public… simply because of what people would think. Despite the boys feelings about music, expression, …or whatever mutilated since of false-belonging this author possesses. You can blame what or whoever you want, but your writing is an embarassment to anyone willing to look.
November 11th, 2009 at 3:02 am
Ghasst, you’re an incomprehensible illiterate.
If anyone can understand what the hell he’s on about, please contact us in the usual manner and the first person to correctly clarify the above moron’s comment wins a new Mercedes E class (in either black, silver or hot pink with all diamonds on the steering wheel and that).
December 17th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Interested in hearing more about being ELITE!!
Also Euronymous is buried in a Christian graveyard in his home town/village, just about a stone’s throw from the church.
December 29th, 2009 at 4:25 am
Well I’ll be, another holier-than-thou, wanna-be elitist twat that thinks by writing an extremely forceful attack upon a black metaller that he’ll be seen as some sort of deity. Seriously buddy, shut the fuck up.
I’ve never heard of Celestial Bloodshed until now, and I know only of Steingrim Torson through his work with the band UNBEING, but what you’ve said here makes you come across as a pretentious idiot. If people want to take the opinion that CELESTIAL BLOODSHED are perhaps the “next big thing”, let them. You don’t have the right to start preaching what you think on the issue in such a manner, it’s down-right laughable.
And please, stop acting tough over the internet and trying to create some “tough-nut” persona that makes people fear you. Not sure how people can even begin to take you seriously.
June 25th, 2010 at 12:52 am
I’M SIK OF YOU,MAN! HOW DO U DARE DESECRATE michael jackson after his passing! I’M UTTERLY DISGUSTED BY YOU SIMPLY BECAUSE U DONT HAVE RESPECT TO ANYONE MAYBE EVEN TO YOURSELF(U HAVE FALLEN TOO LOW..)
WHILE THE WHOLE WORLD IS MOURNING THE ONE&ONLEY KING MAYBE U’RE THE ONLY HATER LEFT!! Aint enouh to u all the furious comments towards U&ur Article?!
Get away from this SECT that manipulates ur brain & start a life or better, as they said, DO a SUICIDE.
Regards to the Satana, when u go to Hell.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
I quite enjoyed this article, well done Admin. ^^ And that has to be the saddest attempt of prolific 9 year old whining that I’ve read in a while.